Can You Stare at Someone “Unconditionally”? The Nuances of Mutuality and Unconditional love

Would you choose to live in presence today?

Can You Stare in Mutuality and Unconditional Love?

Can You Stare in Mutuality and Unconditional Love?

Recently I was discussing a quote on Facebook posted by Stacie Cole.  Here it is: “I want someone who knows that I am not really perfect yet he stares at me like I am the most perfect woman he has ever seen. ; )”  I commented/joked that loving staring needed to be “unconditional staring.”  But maybe it was no joke!  😉   The concept would be staring based upon unconditional love, not attachment.

In certain contexts, the word “stare” implies the lack of mutuality, so that could not be “unconditional staring” it would seem.  One person feels the other is staring, because he/she does not seek the attention and feels the act is uncomfortable in some way.  So staring in that context at least is not mutual by definition, so it cannot be considered loving unconditionally.  Look at the picture of the couple above before you read on and see if you believe that their stare is “attachment” or true “unconditional staring”!  😉

Some say love must be mutual and unconditional.  Is mutuality a separate idea or related to unconditional love?  My view is that mutuality is a given when there is unconditional love, because in unconditional love one would never seek to force anyone to do anything that the other did not also want.   Mutuality is a practice that separated beings use at times to come together to find unconditional love or if unconditional love is already present, mutuality is one of the natural results.  If any understanding between two people is based upon unconditional love, it must be mutual.

Mutuality by itself is not saying very much.  If something is mutual between two people, it may in fact not be based upon unconditional love.  For example, it may be mutual that two people go hunting for fawns, but it certainly is not unconditional love that causes them to kill baby deer together!  Two people can stare at each other for reasons of complete attachment, which could be completely mutual (“Klingons in love”), but again, lacking in unconditional love.  They are attached, not truly in unconditional love.

But while mutuality is “not enough,” it flows from unconditional love as part of its nature.  In unconditional love, we want the other person to simply “be what they are,” and love the other as s/he is and the consequence is that everything we do together is mutual.

Conclusion:   Mutuality is not enough, but is a natural consequence in a relationship that flows from unconditional love.  My take is that the couple above is engaged in a stare that involves unconditional love and of course, mutuality.  They both seem very happy to be staring at each other and seem to be engaged in a giving way.  So there is such a thing as “unconditional staring”!  Stare at them a bit and see what you think!  lol

Would you choose to live in presence today?

If you would like to learn more about discovering unconditional love in your relationships, consider taking my course.  It’s described on my homepage here (please scroll down a bit when you get there):  The Course

And I’ll ask  ; )  – if you liked the article, would you please share it on Facebook and any other place that you like to share things?  Thanks.

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This entry was posted in mutuality, presence, relationships, spiritual laws, Unconditional love and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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